WT1 SPORTS PLAYED IN NEW ZEALAND

Question

Please help me to check this essay. Honestly, i am not good at writing such essays like this. Thank you &lt;3The bar chart compares the percentage of sports played by two genders in New Zealand in the year 2002.Overall, it is clear that Netball was the most common sport among girls whereas most of the boys preferred soccer than other sports. Swimming are popular with both boys and girls.The least favourite sport of girls was Cricket with approximately 1% while that of boys was netball with the same proportion. In contrast with boys, Netball, played by the largest number of girls, stood at the highest point with over 25%. Following the rate of netball, Swimming was the second most popular sport among girls at about 23%. When 7% of girls considered tennis as the main sport and 6% took part in basketball, soccer, athletics and marital arts were chosen by 5%, 4% and 2% respectively. Others sports were played by 10% of them compared to 18% of boys. 25% of total boys favored soccer, much higher than Swimming, Cricket, Marital arts with 13%, 11%, 10% in turns . The figures for tennis and basketball were slightly lower at the rate of  8% and 7% of boys  playing the sports. Athletics was  the second least popular sports with 4% of total.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Nguy?n Th? H?ng H?nhPlease help me to check this essay. Honestly, i am not good at writing such essays like this. Thank you <3

Please upload an image of the bar chart.

The word "i" means the 9th letter of the English alphabet. It is not the personal pronoun "I."

Is the letter not good at writing essays? I am not surprised.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Comments: You are inconsistent in capitalization of the name of the sport. Chose one style and be consistent throughout.

Your essay is not logically structured. A logical outline would be:

Paragraph 1. Introduction and overview

Paragraph 2. Girls' choices.

Paragraph 3. Boys' choices.

Paragraph 4. Conclusion

Do all the percentages add up to 100%?

The bar chart compares the percentage of sports played by two genders (It is not natural to say "Two genders played sports.' Is there a third gender?) in New Zealand in the year 2002.

Overall, it is clear that Netball was the most common sport among girls whereas most of the boys preferred soccer than (wrong word) other sports. Swimming are popular with both boys and girls.

The least favourite sport of girls was Cricket with approximately 1% while that of boys was netball with the same proportion. In contrast with boys, Netball, ~~played by the largest number of girls,~~ stood at the highest point (got the highest number of girls' votes) with over 25%. Following ~~the rate of~~ netball, Swimming was the second most popular sport among girls at about 23%. ~~When~~ Seven percent (7%) of the girls considered tennis as the main sport (Could each girl or boy could pick only one sport? ) and 6% took part in basketball, soccer, athletics and marital arts were chosen (bad sentence structure) by 5%, 4% and 2% respectively. Others (wrong form) sports were played by 10% of them compared to 18% of boys. 25% (Do not begin a sentence with a numerical value. Spell it out.) of total boys favored soccer, much higher than Swimming, Cricket, (missing word) Marital arts with 13%, 11%, 10% in turns . The figures for tennis and basketball were slightly lower at the rate of 8% and 7% of boys playing the sports. Athletics was the second least popular sports with 4% ~~of total~~.

WT1 SPORTS PLAYED IN NEW ZEALAND

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