[Writting IELTS task 2] Please help me on my essay!

Topic

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers. While others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

My essay

It is often argued that how to aid children in rural areas regarding their access to education. People suggest many ways to address these problems such as providing schools and teachers or supplying computers and internet connection. In my opinion, the government should combine both of these sides.

We cannot deny the various difficulties of pupils in rural communities to approach education. Therefore, is we set up the internet network around remote areas, it will help students learn easier. In other words, by doing this, online study can solve the problems of students who live in remote communities like geographic adversity, fewer schools. However, teachers cannot control their students better. They will not know that pupils study or not.

On the other hand, providing schools and hiring teachers also has its own effects. The more schools are established, the more rural children have chances to go to school. Distance from students' houses to school is not a big barrier anymore. Besides, study face to face make an interesting atmosphere between tutors and students, which promotes academic productivity. Moreover, teachers can easily discover students' weaknesses. For instance, throughout the presentation of students in the class, teachers can find out their scholastic competence and characteristics, hence teachers can explain to them the right way to go. On top of that, study at school is an opportunity for students to enhance their skills such as group work communication and autonomous learning.

In conclusion, study through the internet or at school has its own advantages and disadvantages. The internet will be an invaluable source for those who know how to sift information. Thus, it will take more advantages for students in rural areas if we combine studying at school and through the internet.