Writing TOEFL/ Independent

Hello, I appreciate if someone helps me about my mistakes.

Topic : At one high school, more of the students than ever before have been caught cheating on their homework assignments. For example, many of the students have asked other students to provide them with answers for assignment. The school is considering making a change to help decrease the number of students who cheat on homework. Which one of the following actions do you think will be most effective? And why?

1. Asking parents to monitor their children as they do their homework and confirm their children have not cheated
2. Increasing the penalty (punishment) for cheating
3. Asking teachers to create homework assignments that will make it more difficult for students to cheat.

It is an incontrovertible fact that cheating in anything is an unethical behavior, and it should be stopped especially at schools where individuals’ personalities are forming. Although some people think that punishment or monitoring by parents is an effective way to decrease cheating among students, I, personally, do believe that teachers are people who can have a larger impact on reducing cheating for two reasons which are elaborated upon hereunder.

To begin with, teachers have more information about students’ academic performance than parents do. They observe students’ behavior in different situations and usually know each student’s weaknesses and strengths. On the other hand, with technologies such as the Internet and cell phone, it is impossible for parents to know all of their children’s classmates, and control their relationship. Moreover, most of the parents usually help their children in the face of such situations as having difficult homework assignments instead of forcing them to solve assignments alone. Therefore, teachers possibly have better control and can easily find which students are more prone to cheating. These students usually have some reasons for cheating, one of which is anxiety regarding a good score. Needless to say, the primary purpose of an assignment is to help students’ learning processes. As far as I am concerned, asking students to solve their assignments in some groups, can not only increase individuals’ motivation for learning but can help them do their best to have a better academic performance as well. Indeed, in such an atmosphere, students will work together without any stress for evaluation and there is no reason for cheating.

Additionally, punishment can bring far-reaching negative consequences rather than positive effects in the process of teaching and learning. As Robert Baden-Powell once said, “Correcting bad habits cannot be done by forbidding or punishment.” It is obvious that punishing a person can result in shame and feelings of worthlessness for him or her. Therefore, it is more likely to distort one’s motivation, to culminate in a destructive experience, and to cultivate a bad relationship between a student and his or her teacher. However, a teacher can easily reveal the nature of cheating for students by speaking about it. For instance, one of my teachers always said, “Imagine you are a farmer who works hard most of the year, days and nights, to yield good crops. Is it fair if someone comes and steals all the crops right at the time of harvest?” Furthermore, he never punished us for being unaware and showing improper behavior. By doing so, he taught us how unfair and immoral cheating is and made us think about it. As a result, I suppose, by receiving ethical lessons instead of punishment students never led themselves to circumvent rules.

In the light of these critical points, I strictly believe that the modification of student evaluations and the presence of a teacher who acts as a role model are more useful than punishment or parental monitoring. Indeed, teachers who spend many a year of their lives shaping positive personality traits can play an important role in the decrease of cheating.