[WRITING TASK II] : PLS HELP ME WITH THIS ESSAY

Help me to recognise my incorrection in my essay pls. Thank you

Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe that amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Children is supposed to affected by the content of TV programs. While the others claim that it is the length of time they spend on watching TV make a serious impact on their action. Although the amount of time also partly make decision to the way children behave, I believe that youngsters nowadays apparently got changed by the content of programs.

On the one hand, watching TV for long period of time will bring about many deliterious consequences. First of all, children who continuously watch TV during a day have tendency to stay away from curriculum activties which sometimes asscociated with physical health problems. In addition, if children become over-reliant to electric means of media, they undeniably neglect engagement their surrounding relationship which results in gradual communication capability loss. Hence, they will find hard to live in a harmony social with other children compared to their peers.

On the other hand, not all of programs producer’s target is to educate these young viewers because of increasing bad images’s apprearance frequency. Youtube, for example, have recently being covered with a range of uneducational children videos which consists unhealthy habits and improper behavior such as violent game tutorial or even sex cartoon while children consider it as their first priority in terms of entertainment. Moreover, in our consumer society which commercial also play an crucial role have been a silent factor leading to raise their strong desire to unknown-origin toys or useless video games. Once this happened, a buy-at-all-cost attitude will ruin their personality development which hinder their fall-in-line with real social life in near future.

In conclusion, either content or the length of time have their own implication though I agree that the element that has more considerable impact on children is content. Therefore, it is an imperative need for parents to shape their children’s personalities through controlling their TV viewing habits.