Writing task 2- TOEFL. Topic: Society

Hi everyone, I hope that this week, I can get some corrections about my essay. Honestly, I am eager to learn and discuss with you.

Thank you so much !

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In this world, it seems that people have pursued different goals in search of happiness. It is said that some people tend to occupy themselves with various tasks, so they only accomplish a few of them. I completely agree with this statement and I will explain why in the essay.

To begin with, people tend to accomplish their tasks well only when they do one thing at a time. That means doing more tasks simultaneously will only reduce work’s efficiency. Take my sister as an example. In order to get a scholarship in French university, she started learning French consistently. At the same time, she also engaged in other activities, such as taking Yoga classes and drawing pictures. When being asked whether she could ameliorate in her French, she shook her head and told me that she, despite learning French in 6 months, only remembered some basic salutations or numbers in French. On the other hand, if my sister had chosen to focus solely on learning French rather than other activities in the first place, her French could have been improved substantially.

Furthermore, doing many things would also affect negatively our brain health, therefore we only achieve few things or even none of them. According to scientists, people’s brain, though can retain a plethora of information, can malfunction when working too much. In fact, if people just keep working from time to time without taking rest, not only can they be burned out but their memory capacity can be deteriorated. As such, they will forget the majority of important information of their tasks and will not manage their tasks well.

To sum up, I agree that since people cover a variety of work, their performance will be reduced. Instead of doing that, they should concentrate on one task only well as well as take care of their brain health. All of which, as a result, will be conducive to their work performance.