Writing task 2- TOEFL. Topic: Law

Hi everyone, today I write an essay about the law. Hope that everyone can give some honest feedback!

Thanks, have a nice day!

Task 2:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

These days, the rules given by societies are believed to be too harsh for young generations to obey and follow. I disagree with this statement since these rules would motivate young people to become better citizens as well as protect them from being harmed, both physically and mentally.
To begin with, enacting regulations would encourage proper behaviour among young people so that they can become modest citizens. For instance, in many places in Vietnam, students from primary schools to high schools must not use cell phones in class. Otherwise, teachers will collect their cellphones and even call their parents to have further discussions about their behaviour in class. This law is beneficial for students because it would make students attentive to the lessons, instead of using phones for entertainment purposes such as listening to music, chatting and watching movies.
Additionally, observing the laws would prevent young people from damaging their physical and mental health. For example, in America, teenagers under 16 years old must not drive cars, or they will pay a heavy fine and even go to re-education camps within several months. Although some people believe this law is strict, it would help teenagers to protect themselves. Many years ago, because of their immaturity and limited driving experience, some young students, being from 14 to 15, normally speeded up their cars as well as imitated the adults by driving with no hands. Consequently, there were many severe car accidents, injuring other people and themselves. However, since the law was introduced, many teenagers, at this age, have not dared to drive cars as they do not want to go to re-education camps as well as hurt themselves and others. This helps to alleviate the number of car accidents for young generations.
To sum up, I believe that regulations that societies now require the young generations to follow and obey will not be strict for them. On the contrary, the laws would enable young people to learn to become good citizens by behaving properly as well as to avoid some serious health problems by protecting themselves and others.