Writing task 2- TOEFL. Topic: Art

Hi everyone, today I write another task 2 essay. I hope that I can receive feedback from you.

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Writing task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Governments should invest money in art rather than in athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. I completely agree with this statement.
Obviously, that the government support the finance the athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams can inspire athletics to carry on their training so that they can provide excellent performance to the spectacle. This plan, however, is not feasible enough because of some reasons. First, it would be a waste of time and money to invest in sporting events that happens temporarily. Not to mention that, in order to carefully prepare for these events, many athletics have to follow intensive training, which would damage their physical and mental health afterwards. Nevertheless, there are some benefits of giving financial aid to the art.
To begin with, the government’s financial support can enable many artists to deal with financial problems and engage in creating more stunning works of art. For instance, in an interview that I have watched recently on television, 50% of Vietnamese painters interviewed claimed that they normally found unmotivated when working and also got low pay. According to them, the reason is although they made tremendous efforts in drawing paintings, their paintings normally were bought cheaply and not highly appreciated. Therefore, this government’s plan would not only solve the financial difficulties of artists but also motivate them to continue to create more high-quality works of art.
Furthermore, this would allow everyone to organize more artwork activities and so gain valuable insights in terms of arts. For example, in Dong Thap province- a small province of Vietnam, due to lack of funds, only 4 or 5 art events are held annually. However, if the government can invest money in museums and other art centres, they can hold more large-scale art events, which would attract the public attention. As such, visitors of these events can gain more perspectives from paintings and from sharing stories of renowned artists.
To sum up, I believe that instead of supporting athletics, the government should support money for the arts. This would help artists to overcome the financial burdens and also inspire them to keep creating more superb works of art. Also, the public will obtain deep insights in terms of arts when participating in art events, sponsored by the government.