Writing task 2. Thank you for your help

Question

In spite of the advanced made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.Why is this the case?What can be done about this problem?People are living in technological era where advanced innovations appear everywhere as the role of people's assistants especially in agriculture. However, many people in the world still suffer staving. This is because only affluent countries can afford and apply those advances and there are many other social issues taking first priority. International organizations are also tackling this problem.Advanced technique that boosts the production of agricultural products are only applied in developed or wealthy countries. These innovations are often million dollars and they also require well- trained engineers to install and operate the system. Therefore, developing or impoverished countries can not make investments in these advances.Besides, there are other social issues or even wars happening in some areas in the world that are taken into greater importance. Residents who live in unstably social situation can not concentrate on developing their agricultural advances. For example, citizens in Nigeria suffer starving because they do not settle at one permanent place due to war. Moreover, their government only pays attention to end the war excluded developing farming method. This problem can be dealt involving international support. Many international organizations such as WHO and FAO are raising fund to assist countries encountering starving. Developed countries also make contribution by investing in these countries through ODA.In conclusion, although there are many agricultural innovations, people still go hungry because they can not utilize those advances and they have other priority. Fortunately, many international organizations and affluent countries are supporting them by raising fund and many kinds of investment.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Phuong Uyên 2467In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

You barely wrote over the minimum word count.

Your vocabulary on this topic seems to be very limited, so your expressions and collocations are often very poor English. You need to build an idea bank and focus on your vocabulary.

These videos may help you:

People are living in technological era (missing article. Also, this is not a natural expression.) where advanced innovations (That is not a good combination. By definition, all innovations are advancements.) appear everywhere as the role of people's assistants (That is very poor English.) especially in agriculture. However, many people in the world still suffer starvation. ~~staving.~~ (wrong word) This is because only affluent countries can afford the most advanced farming equipment ~~and apply those advances~~ (That is very poor English) and there are many other social issues taking first priority. International organizations are ~~also~~ tackling this problem.

Example opening:

Over the past two centuries, the industrial revolution brought many new innovations in machinery to farming, Experimentation with chemistry has developed artificial fertilizers and insecticides. More recently, genetically engineered crops have been developed. As a result, today's modern farms produce a hundred times more yield with less labor than before. However, the output of these modern farms does not get to people in poor countries, and they certainly cannot afford the expensive equipment, so they starve. International organizations need to cooperate and focus on resolving the problem of poverty and hunger.

Advanced technique (poor English. You need to be specific. What techniques are you talking about?) that boosts the production of agricultural products are only applied in developed or wealthy countries. These innovations are often million dollars and they also require well- trained engineers to install and operate the system. (One system?) Therefore, developing or impoverished countries can not make investments in these advances.

Besides, there are other social issues or even wars happening in some areas in the world that are taken into greater importance. Residents who live in unstably (wrong form) social situation can not concentrate on developing their agricultural advances. (We do not develop advances. That is not a proper collocation.) For example, citizens in Nigeria suffer starving (wrong word) because they do not settle in at one permanent place due to war. Moreover, their government only pays attention to end (wrong form) the war excluded developing farming method. (ungrammatical)

This problem can be dealt with by involving international support. Many international organizations such as WHO and FAO are raising fund (wrong form) to assist countries encountering starving. Developed countries also make contribution by investing in these countries through ODA.

In conclusion, although there are many agricultural innovations, people still go hungry because they can not utilize those advances and they have other priority. (wrong form) Fortunately, many international organizations and affluent countries are supporting them by raising fund (wrong word) and providing many kinds of investment.

Writing task 2. Thank you for your help

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