Writing Task 2. Thank you!!
The graph below shows the percentage of people in different age groups in one city who attended music concerts between 2010 and 2015.
My essay:
The chart illustrates the portion of people in 5 different age groups from 16 to 75+ years old in a specific city who used to go to music concerts from 2010 to 2015.
Overall, It is noticeable that while the percentage of citizens in groups aged 16-24, 25-44 and over 75 increased significantly in the 2 last years, that referring to the age group of 55-64 decreased slightly since 2013. Furthermore, the attendance rate of citizens in the youngest age group was the most prevalent one compared to others.
As can be seen obviously, in 2010, just half of the residents living in this city attended music concerts, with the highest rate of participation belonged to those from 45 to 54. Whereas, the least percentage of people aged 75+ went to the concerts in the city, which was 5 times less than the previous age group. Furthermore, The citizens who were under 24 had the same attendance rate as those from 25 to 44, at 40% and kept nearly the same together at about 50% after 5 years.
From 2010 to 2015, under 25 group had the most quantity of people joining in music concerts when growing continuously to 70%. In the same manner, the ration of people from 75 to older went up slightly in the second and the last years, at 20% despite declining back to the initial rate, which was the same as that of 55-64 age group.
Top answer
You did not read my advice, did you? If you had taken my advice, you would not have made so many mistakes. Consider the mistakes highlighted in your writing.
- You did not read my advice, did you?
- If you had taken my advice, you would not have made so many mistakes.
- Consider the mistakes highlighted in your writing.
- Most of it is misused words..
- The first paragraph is not complete, either.
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You did not read my advice, did you? If you had taken my advice, you would not have made so many mistakes. Consider the mistakes highlighted in your writing. Most of it is misused words.. The first paragraph is not complete, either. You did not give the age ranges of the five groups.
Please read my advice and fix the problems in your essay. Post your revision and I can help you further
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