Writing Task 2 - Spend large amount of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up. Is this important and what are consequences?

Hi tutors, could you please help by assessing my essay below? Thank you very much!

Subject:

• People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance.
• Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay:

Nowadays, people are more and more caring about their appearance. They spend huge amounts of money to purchase new suits or luxury perfumes, and change their hairstyles to be similar to movie stars. This trend has some good points, but also comes with some prices.

Firstly, it is no doubt that appearance is one of the most important factor in communication. What we wear and how we make up will affect the way our partners interact with us. For instance, if we come to a wedding party with a T-shirt and jean, everyone will looks us down because of such inappropriate suit we chose. In contrast, coming to parties with good looking clothes and appropriate hairstyle is a way to show your respect to the hosts. They will be honored and happy when talking with you.

However, focusing too much on physical appearance may sometime cause bad consequences. On one hand, spending a large number of money for buying new clothes, expensive hair sprayers or luxury perfumes will shorten our budget. Thus, we cannot afford other spending like food, education, medical. For example, some students are diet to save money for their suits. This is totally not a recommended trend as it will impact their health and lead to poor result in university. On the other hand, focusing on how we look means we have less time for other aspects of our life. Some girls on Miss or Beauty shows appear with great looking, but perform poorly in Q&A section, which requires basic social knowledge.

In conclusion, physical appearance is generally important because it will impact the way we communication and how others treat us. Nevertheless, we should only spend a reasonable time and money for that because we have more important things to care about in daily life such as food, education, and medical.