Writing task 2. Please review my Ielts essay

As pharmaceutical technology and health care methods have experienced advancement nowadays, the elderly certainly will be taken care of carefully and get more chances to enjoy lives. With the increase of longevity, they can continually live fully and actively. However, what could these people help the community? In this essay, I will point out some ways that the old generation may contribute to society.
First and foremost, the most feasible thing is the elder could do some light works such as caring for flowers, children, or funding charity. Although some of these might be ordinary professions, they are very beneficial. To give an example, when someone takes the parental obligation, as the old play with and care for their grandchildren, particularly this will ultimately lead to higher productivity of parents,
Secondly, if the oldsters obtain enough care and still have good strength or working aspirations, they can likely choose not to stay home living with their pension. Instead, going to work as others around them may be a better choice. Their occupations can be advisers, counselors, or soft-skill teachers, which require good life skills and great experiences. This is immensely advantageous and also, it is not exaggerating whether those seniors be the best leaders for a whole community.
In short, the old humans, who could be seen as frail or weak due to ages, with the improvement in health and longer life spans, still are useful citizens and their contribution is numerous. Moreover, our society will develop faster and life will be worth living courtesy of their support.