[Writing task 2] Please help me correct this essay again.

Topic : Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries.What are the causes of obesity in children?Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future.

These days, childhood obesity has become one of the most severe public health concerns in many parts of the world and this phenomenon has led to the deterioration of their health and fitness. This essay will analyze some plausible reasons for this alarming situation and its associated impacts.

There are two prominent causes why obesity in children has been increasing. The root cause of this trend is improper eating habits. Over the last decade, the introduction of many fast food vendors has affected the way of eating among people, especially the young ones. Children are usually prospective customers as they are more likely to be attracted by processed foods which are made of unhealthy ingredients. Moreover, children have a huge appetite for products with a high sugar content such as chocolates or coke, thus the excessive intake of sweets takes a heavy toll on their well-being.

Another contributing factor is the major change in lifestyles due to the proliferation of technology. The advances in modern science have attached children to computers and smart phones at an early age. With the ubiquity of high-end devices, children tend to allocate more time for playing games or using phones in lieu of participating in outdoor activities. Take for example, Vietnamese children in this day and age give preference for inactively sitting in front of computers playing online games. Such sedentary activities incrementally exacerbate their health conditions because they may accumulate much fat in their body and quickly gain excess weight.

Obesity during childhood can have a detrimental effect on the body in a variety of ways. Obviously, obese children are susceptible to developing health-related problems. Prolonged obesity is often associated with high blood cholesterol, a significant factor for heart disease. This is harmful to young people’s health as it increases the chance of having a stroke. In addition, extremely overweight children can experience some mental issues such as anxiety and low self-esteem as they are ashamed of their appearance. Consequently, they may find themselves isolated from their peers, which could be a deterrent to educational progress.

In summary, the changes in eating patterns and inactive lifestyles are the two major causes for obesity in children and the examined repercussions are a real threat to their health.