WRITING TASK 2: PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT THIS ESSAY

Please correct my essay. Thank you very much

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Health problem is a debatable issue. While some hold the belief that the best way to improve public health is by developing sports facilities, others think that it would have slight impact on public health and other solutions should be required. I would say I am of the second opinion.

Admittedly, sports facilities can improve public health in several ways. They make a direct opportunity for people to do more exercise. It is true that nowadays, these facilities are too expensive for an individual with low income to afford. Thus, providing sports facilities will give people a chance to keep fit and stay healthy without the requirement of money to buy equipments. Researches show that a person can loose weight efficiently by doing exercise. Moreover, health problems like obesity, high blood pressure or digestion-related diseases can be avoided by it.

However, people seem to be very busy with their studies and work so they do not have enough time for exercise. Therefore, sports facilities may have little or no effect on public health because people do not utilize them frequently. Other measures could be taken to reduce health problems. One of them is that manufacturers should construct more health care centers where people can be received advice and have body checkup regularly. A recent research shows that there are more people relying on figures on their medical checkup reports to maintain their good health. At these centers, doctors also give them advice of healthy diet or how to do exercise effectively. Besides, governments can contribute to tackle the problems by organizing more campains to promote the importance of health and show people about the possible negative impact of health problems. Thus, people may pick up good habits to maintain their good health.

In conclusion, although it is acknowledged that raising the amount of sports facilities is useful to improve public health, I would agrue that there are other measures which could be used to solve the problems that are certain to arise.