Writing task 2 please help me check my essay

Today's topic: Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

A growing amount of pressure is placing on children by their parents due to their success in the future. This essay is to shed light on what might be the causes regarding this issue and discuss both the pros and cons of these activities.

There are different reasons to explain for the issue. The main reason for this is that today’s parents often have comparison between their children with others, and they always feel jealous with other children who are better than their own. Therefore, they make their children take part in extra classes at other educational centres after finishing at school. In addition, they work so hard with the aim to help their children have the best learning conditions. This is because they wish them could have the success in the future by focusing on their studies, leading to greater pressure on children.

These activities will have several advantages. Firstly, children will make more effort to improving themselves when parents control their learning. This means they will gain more knowledge. Besides, this is likely to help children to avoid negative impacts such as playing video games due to spending more time on studies. However, the disadvantages of this pressure cannot be denied. In fact, if they spend a lot of time on studying instead of other activities, resulting in the lack of physical activities. This, in turn, seems as negative effects on physical and metal healthy of them.

In conclusion, even though activities that put the pressure on children are not a bad idea, parents should do it appropriately to help their children improve both knowledge and heath.