Writing task 2, please help me check and grade it

Topic: Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, globalization has become a broad issue to the general public. it is sometimes thought that globalization has made the loss of national identities . However, according to some and I take the view that the growing business and cultural exchange between countries in the world is a positive trend. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspective.
On the one hand, many consider that national identities have been lost because of the development of business and culture. As evidence of this, they mention that minor languages have been died out. this is because English has become increasingly popular as the important language for business and tourism and global residents do not speak their own language. Moreover, they argue that traditional cultures have been lost significantly. To illustrate this point, it should be mentioned that lifestyle, traditional clothes and cuisines have been transformed in different ways due to adapting international taste.
On the other hand, there are several arguments in support of the idea that globalization has been brought a variety of positive developments . To begin with, one common reason which is used to prove is that cultural values have been exchanged positively and enriched through business and cultural exchange. this means that there are different cultures in one country and global citizens feel at home whenever they travel to. In addition, another point which helps people to find their argument quite convincing is that world economy has been developed rapidly thanks to international business. In other words, underdeveloped and developing countries are able to improve their poor economic situation by supporting endlessly from developed countries.
In conclusion, the above mentioned facts have created a dilemma when people evaluate the impact of this issue, and it is still a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned, I put more highlight on the idea that there has been positive development from international business and cultural contact.