Writing task 2 please correct my essay

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

After graduating from high school, some students tend to take a gap year to get a job or go on a trip before university life. While there are drawback of this trend, i wold agree that the advantages more than compensate for any disadvantages.

On the one hand, Getting a job or travelling straight after school has some disadvantages to some particular aspects. Number of graduating students may start their career later than the others who don’t choose to get a job or go on a trip after graduation. Therefore, when they have their sustainable occupation , they will be promoted later. In other words, they need to spend the reasonable expenditure on travelling. This is partly due to the fact that if they don’t economize the amount of money and use it without limitation, they will have to ask their parents.

On the other hand, i believe that there are some undoubted advantages that some high school leavers should work or travel for some time before entering the fist year of university. Firstly , it will be a golden opportunity for students to expand their horizons if they make this decision. They can learn new knowledges and gain some valuable experiences. For instance, i made an all – day excursion to Phu Quoc island, it was a chance for me to explore new places. As a consequence, I could discover something special or interesting about their cultures that I should know. Secondly, taking a year off can help young graduates guarantee a successful career and increase their studies. They can decide what they want to do in the future and utilize the time to make sure that everything will be right for their ambition.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the benefits of this decision are more significant than the drawbacks.