Writing task 2. Please check it for me.

Topic: Some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

It is argued that children should study at school all times until they are 18 years old. I completely agree with this opinion.
If they have full-time education, their career will be good because of many general knowledge. The general knowledge which is taught with more qualifications like Math, Physical at school help them broaden their knowledge. At a result, they can apply their knowledge and chase the top jobs in the future. Furthermore, as their knowledge is accumulated, they can use them for having a good position in their job. For instance, my neighborhood is a man who establish York company, which is a famous company about shoes in the world because he studied hard during he still was a student.
Additionally, if they do not study at school, they will have a lot of troubles in their life in the future. Firstly, they can not find a good job for living. One of the reason is that the knowledge about this job that they apply, if they are not suitable with job's requirement, they will be not acceptable. Secondly, they can not help others when they want. If they want to become a volunteer for society, they can be not acceptable because of lack of skills that will be accumulated at school when they study. For example, if Bill Gates, who is the richest in the world, does not have full-time education when he was a boy, he can not does anything for himself and communication.
For the reason mentioned above, I believe that children should study all times at school until they are 18 years old. These thing will help them a lots in the future not only for themselves but also for their parents.