Writing task 2 petrol

Question

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? It is indisputable that traffic and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems. Which have been being two major concerns worldwide currently, Hence, there are an abundance of solutions have been proposed to curb the escalating of these problems include augment the price of petrol, for example. However, I believe that various measures would be more effective.First of all, Nowadays. Human activities depend heavily on means of transport, especially in transport field. Therefore, if the rising price of fuel put into effect, the standard of living would be under the pernicious influence stem from the uplifting costs of every products as well as the inconvenient of travelling. For instance, in VN, transport costs are bound up with product pricing. Thus, the price of petrol has a big domino impact on what people end up paying even for a slice of bread. That’s why raising the price of petrol not only can’t stem the tide of traffic and pollution in the long run but also cause the tense of the whole industries.Secondly. Emissions discharged from the vehicles using petrol fuel are the main factor that caused air pollution.I think to tackle this problem, electric vehicles need to be developed. For example, with a view to protecting the environment, Tesla has developed a new type of car, using electricity to operate. the second solution is decrease the number of private cars by using road tolls combine with increase the quantity of public transportation. These methods are the key to decline congestion simultaneously with improving air quality, particularly in the cities.In conclusion, I believe that long term traffic and pollution reductions would rely on persuading citizen to utilize electric and public means of transport more in tandem with the policy for decrease the number of private cars

Poster · Accepted Answer

It is indisputable [I could dispute that. Cars and trucks are very useful. Where would we be without them? Where is the problem?] that traffic [Traffic or traffic congestion?] and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems. Which have been being two major concerns worldwide currently, [Check the punctuation and capitalization.] Hence, [There is no automatic logical consequence.] there are an abundance of solutions have been proposed to curb [Two finite seemingly main verbs.] the escalating [There is a true related noun.] of these problems include [Verb form] augment [verb form] the price of petrol, for example. However, I believe that various [other?] measures would be more effective.

First of all, Nowadays. [Punctuation and capitalization] Human activities depend heavily on [determiner] means of transport, especially in [missing determiner] transport field. [Hardly surprising or informative.] Therefore, [Implies logic: there is none: do not over-use linking adverbs where none is required.] if the rising price of fuel [missing auxiliary] put into effect, the standard of living would be under the pernicious influence [What influence? Inappropriate phraseology.] stem [Verb form] from the uplifting costs [Unusual collocation: uplifting has a positive nuance] of every products [singular/plural] as well as the inconvenient [What has it got to do with convenience? We were talking of price.] of travelling. For instance, in VN [What is that a town or postcode? ], transport costs are bound up with [Strange word choice] product pricing. Thus, the price of petrol has a big [Informal word choice] domino impact [The phrase is 'domino effect' or 'knock-on effect'] on what people end up paying [comma needed here] [effect on retail prices] even for a slice of bread. That’s [Do not use contractions in formal writing] why raising the price of petrol not only can’t stem the tide of [stem the rising tide: but an odd phrase in the context of congestion] traffic and pollution in the long run but also [may] cause the tense [as a noun this is about grammar: poor word choice] of the whole industries.

Secondly. [Punctuation error] Emissions discharged from the vehicles using petrol fuel are the main factor that caused [tense? Also why no space after the end-of-sentence period? And what about diesel fuel ? Is that okay?] air pollution.I think to tackle this problem, electric vehicles need to be developed. [The Nissan Leaf has been widely available for several years and hybrids for decades. Did you mean further developed: if so, what is wrong with them? Why have they not yet seen widespread adoption?] For example, with a view toprotecting [spacing: Thai and classic Latin are written without spaces.] the environment, Tesla has developed a new type of car, using electricity to operate. the [Capitalization] second solution is decrease the number of private cars by using road tolls combine [Verb form] with [Missing determiner] increase [Missing preposition] the quantity of public transportation. These methods are the key to decline [Needs a transitive verb] congestion simultaneously [Poor word choice] with improving air quality [This is not a solution: it is an outcome], particularly in the cities.

In conclusion, I believe that long term traffic and pollution reductions would rely on persuading citizen to utilize electric and public means of transport more in tandem with the policy for decrease [needs a gerund] the number of private cars

I am not quite sure how an examiner might react to this submission. Some of the phrases used are quite good, but sometimes less appropriate in the context used.

There are a number of very basic errors with articles, punctuation, and verb forms, which frequently reduce communication. Band 6 reads: makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication.

Band 6 vocabulary reads: attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy.

As noted, there is room for improvement in the logic and progression of the argument. Band 6 also reads: arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression.

The difficulty with Task Achievement is that the grammar, vocabulary, and coherence issues have a knock-on effect on putting the message across clearly, and undermine the efficacy of your arguments. Band 6 states: presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive, and presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear.

..you may also 'highlight' a part of the text and press 'Quote'

Cuong nguyen 4849 · Answer

thank you so much

Writing task 2 petrol

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