Writing task 2 ilets

Hi, I'm jessica. This is my writing for IELTS test. I know that it has many faults, so i hope someone can help me completely. Thanks

topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is thr place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In order to a child can develop a way total, the education is important things. It depends on not only parents' teaching but also learning in school. So, I disagree that each parents can not be to teach children how to become a good person of society.
The family is the best important basic to establish children' s personality soon. Nobody else, the parent are who teach them the rules, respect, obey adults and a little things. There are many activities, words from parents can be affected to children. If the parents give many rules well, the children can be absorbed its easily.
Beside, learning to understand about life, the value system of whole society, it can not be achieved just in the home. When coming school, the children do on the other hand study knowledge widely from books, there are many skills needed. They will live, work and contact with many people types, this experient motivate them how to co-operate and be clever in other relationship.
In conclusion, There are many things to help a children to be good people in many areas. The role of parents is important but it is not all. And education in school is necessary spacial for the development of children.