Writing Task 2 IELTS

Here are the question and my essay. Please help me with my grammar, thanks in advance.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is believed by some that completing university education is the key to getting a good occupation while others argue that acquiring experience and learning soft skills are more essential. In my honest opinion, completing tertiary education, which is required for some jobs, is far more important than soft skills and experience, which can be obtained while working.

On the one hand, being a university graduate with a decent degree can increase the chance of being hired. Having a good degree is essential because it is one of the major factors that employers consider when hiring, especially in Eastern countries where degrees have always been the most important factor for years. Furthermore, through the process of studying at university, people can attain critical thinking, problem-solving skills and, most importantly, a strong basic knowledge of the field they major in.

Acquiring experience and soft skills, on the other hand, is a better way to get a good job, according to some. Having experience and developed soft skills will boost people’s productivity because they have met some problems before and communicate better than others who do not. Consequently, applicants might have a higher chance of being accepted to a company.

Finally, from my point of view, completing tertiary education overshadows having experience and soft skills. Take for example law, medicine or teaching, it will be impossible to have a position in these jobs if people do not have a degree. In contrast, experience and soft skills are obtainable through working. The more people communicate and work, the better their soft skills and the more experience they have.

In conclusion, I am convinced that being university graduates is more vital than having experience and soft skills due to the fact that having a degree is required for some jobs whilst experience and soft skills are definitely obtainable through the process of working and communicating.

Another question is if I use a v-ing clause with two v-ings, is it now counts as a plural? For example, "pursuing and completing tertiary education overshadows" or "overshadow"

Thank you so much for reading.