WRITING TASK 2 IELTS

As the drastic growth of population all over the world, (improper structure) how to use land wisely has been such a controversial question that ...? (Such ... that...) . Some people think that saving land for (missing word) basic needs of human such as cultivation (Cultivation is not a human.) and industrial development is more essential than preserving natural habitat for endangered animals. In my opinion, I partly agree ("agree" is an opinion. "In my opinion" is redundant.) with this idea.

First, the population explosion leads to the significant increase in human demands, and it cannot be denied that (Passive-it opening clauses are grammatical, but good writers avoid them; they are just "empty" words that add nothing to the content of the essay. ) we have a lot of problems to deal with. People need to be met (Improper verb form. e.g People need to be met at the airport by their friends when they arrive.) fundamental needs to survive, such as food and houses. Therefore, the government should provide sufficient land for people to build dwelling and to improve agriculture. Moreover, using land to construct new factories and develop industry has positive effects on world’s economy. In details, establishing factories will create more workplaces and bring countless job opportunities for people. As a result, the unemployment rate of each country will possibly decrease and people will have better finance to make a living. After all, human life must be placed first.

On the other hand, I also believe that saving natural habitat is an alarming concern nowadays. Human and animals have shared a very special relationship since the dawn of time, which means destroying animal lives is no less than killing ourselves. Deforestation, one of the most popular types of occupying land for human needs, causes not only the extinction of many wild animals but also the imbalance of the Earth’s ecosystem. Thus, we ourselves have to due with numerous of consequences such as global warming and many natural disasters. In addition, plants and animals are responsible for a variety of useful medications. These species not only save human life but also provide the raw materials for (missing word) pharmaceutical and biological industry. (There is no such thing as a "biological industry.")
In conclusion, it is true that human needs should be (missing word) priority. However, we need to exploit land resources reasonably to protect Mother Nature and to preserve the biodiversity because the environment affects directly to our lives.