WRITING TASK 2 IELTS

Could sbd please check my essay and give me some feedback? Many thankssssss

Some people think that human needs farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As the drastic growth of population all over the world, how to use land wisely has been such a controversial question. Some people think that saving land for basic needs of human such as cultivation and industrial development is more essential than preserving natural habitat for endangered animals. In my opinion, I partly agree with this idea.
Firstly, the population explosion leads to the significant increase in human demands, and it cannot be denied that we have a lot of problems to deal with. People need to be met fundamental needs to survive, such as food and houses. Therefore, the government should provide sufficient land for people to build dwelling and to improve agriculture. Moreover, using land to construct new factories and develop industry has positive effects on world’s economy. In details, establishing factories will create more workplaces and bring countless job opportunities for people. As the result, the unemployment rate of each country will possibly decrease and people will have better finance to make a living. After all, human life must be placed first.
On the other hand, I also believe that saving natural habitat is an alarming concern nowadays. Human and animals have shared a very special relationship since the dawn of time, which means destroying animal lives is no less than killing ourselves. Deforestation, one of the most popular types of occupying land for human needs, causes not only the extinction of many wild animals but also the imbalance of the Earth’s ecosystem. Thus, we ourselves have to due with numerous of consequences such as global warming and many natural disasters. In addition, plants and animals are responsible for the variety of useful medications. These species not only save human life but also provide the raw materials for pharmaceutical and biological industry.
In conclusion, it is true that human needs should be priority. However, we need to exploit land resources reasonably to protect Mother Nature and to preserve the biodiversity because the environment affects directly to our lives.