Writing task 2 : As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsiblities. Do you agree or disagree

Hey so I am Nhung and I want someone to read my writing task 2 and help me to point out my mistake ( about my logic, pronunciation etc) Thanhks a lot for your help. Really appreaciate it! So here is my essay :

" The idea that besides generating profit ,companies should also hold social responsiblities has been a source of controversy. From my point of view , I believe that they should conduct their businesses in a socially responsible manner

In the one hand, creating profit is the basic principle in business. The more profitable businesses become , the more tax the government can recieve. Consequently, they can spend this revenue on such priorities as: healthcare, education etc. Another point is that as the businesses grow strong, the companies will expand their production by employ more workers, which means the unemployed rate can be reduced.

In the other hand, enterprises must be aware of the environment degradation. Since during the production , the factories may emit green house gases, discharge industrial waste into the surrounding area , leading to the deterioration of the local environment. As a result, the companies must install their factories with waste treatment system and assure that their activities do no harm to the environment. Moreover, they should donate money to charity or fund scholarships to enhance their public image. For example big and famous firms like Unilever and Vinamilk give annual scholarships to financially disadvantaged children .

To sum up, though making money is the sole purpose of doing business, companies should also care about the society development."