Writing task 2: advantages and disadvantages of having a lot of money.

Question

hi everyone, please help me check this essay. Thank you!

question:

Some people say that money can make life easier and more comfortable. But others say that having a great amount of wealth can bring some problems.

What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of a having a lot of money?

Determining how money influences our lives has evolved as a controversial topic. This essay will discuss both the benefits and challenges of have a wealthy account.

First and foremost, there is consensus that money lays the foundation of a comfortable life. Indeed, possessing a high and stable income facilitate people take into account many items, making their life more joyful, healthy and memorable. For example, while a middle-class family is busy making a living to ensure a decent life, an upper-class one can go further for an expensive trip, a splendid racing car or an advance healthcare service. In other words, it is not exaggerated to claim that a great amount of wealth is a tool for a high level of both physical and mental betterment.

On the other hand, an excessive load of money also leads to many problems. In particular, prosperity, which usually acts as the result of a long or even painful accumulation, is often misunderstood as a reflection of inequality by a number of pessimists, leading to dissatisfaction and envy. As a consequence, the rich are more likely to be the target of abhorrent conspiracies as well as family conflicts. Another drawback is when the desire of getting wealthy is taken into extreme; a person is lured to commit various crimes. Last but not least, instant wealth also can be detrimental, especially when people are not equipped with sufficient skills and knowledge. Young inheritors, for instance, may be unable to cope with an abundant asset and tend to misuse money to indulge themselves in several nasty needs.

To sum up, personal wealth, with all its merit and demerits, can be deemed as a double-edged sword that may facilitate or harm our lives. Thus, it is suggested that while pursuing wealth to increase their living standard, people should be fully aware of all the pitfalls and unhappiness that are associated with money.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You did not answer the topic sentence directly, only indirectly. The topic sentence began, " What do you think." You never said "I think..." or "my opinions are about this are..."

Determining how money influences our lives has evolved as a controversial topic. (That is not a good opening sentence. The topic was not about any controversy. It was about your opinion on a subject.) This essay will discuss both the benefits and challenges of have a wealthy account. (Accounts are not wealthy; people can be wealthy or middle-class or poor.)

First and foremost, there is (missing word) consensus (The topic question asked about your opinion, not the opinion of other people.) that money lays the foundation of a comfortable life. Indeed, possessing a high and stable income facilitate people take into account many items, making their life more joyful, healthy and memorable. For example, while a middle-class family is busy making a living to ensure a decent life, an upper-class one can go further for an expensive trip, a splendid racing car or an advance healthcare service. In other words, it is not exaggerated to claim that a great amount of wealth is a tool for a high level of both physical and mental betterment.

On the other hand, an excessive load of money also leads to many problems. In particular, prosperity, which usually acts as the result of a long or even painful accumulation, is often misunderstood as a reflection of inequality by a number of pessimists, (??) leading to dissatisfaction and envy. As a consequence, the rich are more likely to be the target of abhorrent conspiracies as well as family conflicts. Another drawback is when the desire of getting wealthy is taken into extreme; a person is lured to commit various crimes. Last but not least, instant wealth also can be detrimental, especially when people are not equipped with sufficient skills and knowledge. Young inheritors, for instance, may be unable to cope with an abundant asset and tend to misuse money to indulge themselves in several nasty needs. (I don't know what a nasty need is. Please give an example.)

To sum up, personal wealth, with all its merit and demerits, (wrong usage) can be deemed as a double-edged sword that may facilitate or harm our lives. Thus, it is suggested that while pursuing wealth to increase their living standard, people should be fully aware of all the pitfalls and unhappiness that are associated with money.

Writing task 2: advantages and disadvantages of having a lot of money.

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