Writing task 2

Please evaluate my essay and give me a band score. I'm really grateful for all your help.

Question :
Some people think that we should publicize much information as possible, typically science, commerce, and academic issue. However, others opine that it is too valuable to share freely Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


There is a fierce controversy about whether we should publish a host of scientific, and commercial information as well as academic issues in public or not due to its values. From my point of view, while sharing this data arises some detrimental repercussions, there are compelling reasons why such facts should be publicized.
On the one hand, publishing information dissatisfying citizens may spark acrimonious protests. As the foremost, scientific organizations are operating risky experiments to attain feats serving various spheres, and this potentially influences detrimentally people. In other words, most citizens intuitively do not advocate these ideas due to their vulnerability; thus, should such concepts publicize in the media, people will be displeasure leading to unpredictable consequences which impact adversely the state authorities. For instance, China tried to invent biological weapons that not only affected the Chinese but also spread out to countries nearby creating criticism all over the world towards the Chinese government. Briefly, publicizing important information may create confusion among citizens generating difficulties for the governments.
On the other hand, organizations should publish some vitally crucial information to the public to be refined and formulated by citizens' opinions. To put it simply, problems should have intervention by the public to promote democracy as well as reduce pressure on the state leaders. Furthermore, with academic issues, no one comprehends as fully as students themselves; thus, such issues must be publicized as much as possible to consult with citizens’ views in order to find an ultimate radical solution to address effectively. As a prime example, many universities have resolved cheating during examinations by the students’ inventions from problems that universities provide. All citizens, as a result, may benefit in various aspects from the transparency of information more than holding such data secretly by the organizations.
In conclusion, people know some specific information may cause problems making troubles to the governments. However, publicizing important facts might be more beneficial to people that they might not be under threat by potential issues and can make opinions by themselves.