Writing task 2

Please help me to assess my essay for IELTS writing task 2. Thank you!

Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My essay:

People have argued about whether parents or schools are better at teaching children to become exemplary citizens. However, I believe that both schools and parents play important role in developing children’s sense of community.

There are several reasons to support the opinion that parents are good at educating children to be well-rounded citizens. First, parents have favorable mechanism to educate children as they are the closest persons in a child’s life. Therefore, it is easier for parents to articulate certain lessons about family heritage, such as respect for ancestor, to their kids. Having a deep understanding about the family roots and heritage positively affect children’s awareness development. Second, moms and dads are the typical example that shape a child’s personality. Parents’ behaviors have significant influence on the manners of children as they tend to imitate their parents throughout the learning process at the young age.

However, I believe that schools also share an equal responsibility in developing an active member of the society. The first reason is the school is considered to be a miniature of the society where children can learn about the interactions with their peers or cooperation with others through a variety of outdoor activities. These activities not only promote children’s sharing but also foster a great sense of humanity. In addition, school’s curriculums are also designed to provide the knowledge about the society and develop children’s sense of community. As a result, it helps to raise children’s awareness of patriotism and social responsibility through sociology courses and history lessons.

In conclusion, families and schools complement each other in the education of young children. It is essential to have both family and school in a child’s development.