WRITING TASK 1_EXPORT EARNINGS

Question

This is my next writing as a practice. Please read it and give me some advice for improvement. Any feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you very much.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category or exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

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The bar chart plots the changes in export income of five particular product categories, which are petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agriculture products, and textiles, in 2015 and 2016. The measurement unit is $ billions. Additionally, the given table gives information about the changes in these categories in percentage terms from 2015 to 2016.

Overall, more than 50% the export earnings came from petroleum products and engineered goods in both years, while textiles contributed the least to total export earnings among all. From 2015 to 2016, only gems and jewellery had a decrease in their income, while there were upward trends for others.

In 2015, petroleum products earned the highest with about 60$ billion. In the next year, it climbed slightly to about 62$ billion, which counted as an increase of 3%. Engineered goods grew faster by 8.5% from around 55$ billion to more than 60$ billion. Although the textiles’ share of the total income was the least, they grew faster than any other product category in one year, levelling off up to 15,24%. The almost negligible change occurred in agriculture products, which decreased only 0,81% over the year.

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This time, I have made some small calculations in the overview paragraph. Are they correct?

Also, there are two charts in this exercise, which is different compared to before. Do you have any advice for the kind of exercise consisting of many charts, graphs or tables?

Thank you.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

The bar chart ~~plots~~ [ 1] outlines a/one country’s ~~the changes in~~ export [ 1] income/earnings of from five particular product categories, which are petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agriculture products, and textiles, in 2015 and 2016. The measurement unit is billions of dollars. Additionally, the given table [ 2] provides ~~gives~~ information about the changes in these categories in percentage terms from 2015 to 2016.

Overall, more than 50% of the export earnings came from petroleum products and engineered goods in both years, while textiles contributed the least to total export earnings. ~~among all.~~ From 2015 to 2016, only the revenue from gems and jewellery ~~had~~ saw a decrease; ~~in their income, while there were~~ the other four categories had upward trends. ~~for others.~~

In 2015, petroleum products earned the highest with about [ 3] lt;/b>60 billion. In the next year, it that climbed slightly to about lt;/b>62 billion, ~~which counted as~~ an increase of 3%. Engineered goods grew ~~faster~~ more, by 8.5% from around lt;/b>55 billion to more than lt;/b>60 billion. Although the textiles’ ~~share of~~ contribution to ~~the~~ total export income was the least, they grew faster than any other product category in one year, ~~levelling off up~~ to [ 4] a rise of [ 5] 15.24%. ~~The almost negligible change occurred in~~ Finally, the revenue from exports of agriculture products ~~which decreased~~ increased ~~only~~ by a negligible [ 5] 0.81% over those two years.

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[ 1]: The slash means you can use either option.

[ 2]: “gives” is not wrong, but you used the word “given” just before it, so “provides” sounds better.

[ 3]: Note where the currency symbol goes.

[ 4]: “to” is wrong; the percentage rose by (not to) that much.

[ 5]: Use a dot or full stop (period in AmE), not a comma, as the decimal separator.

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hyakuya stars
This time, I have made some a small calculation in the overview paragraph. ~~Are they~~ Is it correct?

Yes.

hyakuya stars
Also, there are two ~~charts~~ diagrams/figures in this exercise, which is different compared to before. Do you have any advice for the kind of exercise consisting of many charts, graphs or tables?

I think you did okay in the above. In other cases, you may have to refer separately to both diagrams/figures.

hyakuya starsThank you.

You're welcome.

Phophongbong · Answer

I am very sorry if it may cause any inconvenience to you. Just to practise writing with this mixed charts.

Please help me correct it. Thank you so much!

The given bar chart presents one country’s export earnings from five different categories namely petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewelry, agricultural products and textiles in 2015 and 2016. The measurement unit is billions of dollars. Meanwhile, the table gives the percentage changes of each category in 2016 compared with 2015.

Overall, four in five categories had an increase in export revenue, except for gems and jewelry. Although textiles contributed the least value to the economy, it grew faster than other products one year later.

In 2016, petroleum products and engineered goods reached over 60 billion dollars for each, almost double the value of agricultural exports and textiles, just over 30 billion dollars. Besides that, export earnings from gems and jewelry went from 43 to approximately 41 billion dollars in 2016.

Regarding the table, the total export value of textiles increased by 15.24% in 2016, the highest percentage of all. Petroleum products, engineered goods and agricultural products rose by 3%, 8.5% and 0.81% accordingly. In contrast, only gems and jewelry decreased by 5.18% in the export revenue after one year.

WRITING TASK 1_EXPORT EARNINGS

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