WRITING TASK 1_ACCESS TO TECHNOLOGY

Hello, this is my piece of writing Task 1. Plase give me any advice after you read it. Any feedback is truly appreciated. Thank you very much.
Topic: The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.

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The graph indicates in percentage terms the variation of domestic access to CD player, mobile phone, home computer and Internet in homes in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

Overall, of four elements in the study, CD player had the highest figure at all times in the survey, while the lowest belonged to Internet access. All elements had a noticeable increase, although mobile phone’s was rather erratic. Furthermore, unlike other three items, which had recorded data from the beginning of the graph in 1996/97, it was not until 1998/99 did Internet access’ data appeared.

There was a gradual rise in CD player, home computer and Internet access. As for CD player, the number of homes used it increased by nearly 20% from 60% to above 80%. Next was home computer with a rise from about 26% to almost 55%. Though Internet access did not appear until 1998/99, its increase rate exceeded the former, climbing from 10% to around 45%, which made a leveling off by approximately 35%. However, it was the mobile phone that went up most among others from less than 20% to 70% in surveyed time, outstripping home computer, which originally showed a higher figure than mobile phone.