Writing Task 1 - Weight Assessment

Hi everyone! I'm Ly from Vietnam and I am trying to get an IELTS certificate. Therefore, I hope that you guys can help me to correct my writings, and here is one of them. Thanks in advance!

https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1005/

The bar charts compare the weight assessment of residents of Charlestown, divided into five groups of age, between 1995 and 2015.

Overall, it is obvious that people in Charlestown were less and less likely to have their bodies in good shapes. Besides, the number of obese people was incredibly increased after 20 years.

It can be seen that in 1995, people were highly aware of their weight that the majority at all age groups had an ideal weight. The most outstanding figure fell into the youngest group who were 20-29 years old, at around 70%, compared to 60% of 30-49 year-old people and around 50% of the 50 to 69 years of age. Additionally, the rate of the underweight was quite high, of which the group of 60-69 years old registered the highest figure of about two fifths.

However, the ideal state reduced across almost age ranges except 20-29 in 2015. This year witnessed a significant increase in obesity. The chart makes it clear that there was a correlation between the weight and the age of inhabitants of Charlestown. In detail, the more age they got, the more weight they gained. In 1995, the number of obese people just fell into three age group which were 40-49, 50-59 and 60-69 with the small proportion of nearly 5%, 10% and roughly 5%, respectively. Nevertheless, in 2015, this figures changed into a fourth, over a half and three fifths. The percentage of overweight residents also considerably rose, especially at the age group of 30-39 and 40-49 years old.