Writing Task 1 - Test 5- Book IELTS Cambridge 12. Please help me

Question

This is the first time I have ever write this task 1, please help me to score it and give me some benefit advices. Thank you!

The bar chart below gives the information about the rate of Australian men and women by different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, it is clear that the percentage of women who did regularly activity is always higher than the percentage of men from the age of 25.

From 15 years old to 24 years old, there is a difference, the percentage of men is higher than the percentage of women, it is 52.8% in men and 47.7% in women. The percentage of women went up from 15 years old to 54 years old, from 54 years old, it went down, while the percentage of men went up from 35 years old. However, the percentage of men couldn't be higher than the percentage of women excepts the age group 15 to 24.

The highest number in the bar chart belongs to Australian women, it is 53.3%, while the highest rate of men is 52.8%, at the age of 15 and 24.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

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Walk tile 7 · Answer

The bar chart describes the ratio of daily physical activity of Australian males and females across various age groups ranging from 15 to 65 or above years in 2010.

Overall, it is clear from the bar chart that women engaged in more regular physical activities compared to men. In addition, the figures shown in the chart fluctuated for both genders over the given period.

For females, the percentage of daily physical activity for younger women, aged 15 to 24 years, was 47.7%. Then, these ratios began to rise gradually from the age group 25 to 34 until the age group 35 to 44, increasing to 52.5%. It is interesting to note that the activity remained almost constant at around 53% until they reach adulthood, which is between 55 to 64 years. Then, the daily physical activity of older women, aged 65 or over, fell to 47.1%.

On the other hand, young Australian males engaged in regular physical activity more than females, with a percentage of 52.8%. However, the percentage steadily declined until the age of 35 to 44, reaching 39.5%. Then, adult males started showing an increased interest in daily activities again. These percentages gradually rose from 39.5% to 46.7% among individuals aged 65 or above, although they never surpassed those of females.

Writing Task 1 - Test 5- Book IELTS Cambridge 12. Please help me

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