Writing Task 1 - Please give me some advice on my writing

Question

The bar chart compares the amount of electricity produced and consumption by the top ten countries in the year 2014.

It is clear that China is the leading country in both production and consumption of electricity. By contrast, Korea is at the bottom of the list with much lower electricity than China.

The Electricity of China is over 5 billion Kwh in 2014, larger than the USA approximately 1 billion Kwh and 5 times higher than the third country, Russia. From the 4th country onwards, the amount of electricity does not exceed 1 billion Kwh and the total electricity amount of these 6 countries is less than half of the total electricity of the three leading countries. Meanwhile, Korea has the lowest electricity, less than 500 billion Kwh, and only one-tenth of China.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote less than the minimum, 150 words. You will lose points on "task completion."

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. Also, when you mention data values, be sure to write the correct numbers.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The bar chart compares the amount of electricity produced and consumption (wrong form) by the top ten countries in the year 2014.

~~It is clear that~~ Overall, China is the leading country in both production and consumption of electricity. By contrast, Korea is at the bottom of the list with less than one tenth that of China. ~~much lower electricity~~ than China.

The Electricity (Electricity is a common noun. Do not capitalize it.) consumption of China is over 5 billion Kwh (wrong number) in 2014, larger than the USA approximately (missing words or punctuation) 1 billion Kwh (wrong number) and 5 times higher than the third ranked country, Russia. From the 4th country onwards, the amount of electricity does not exceed 1 billion Kwh (wrong number) and the total amount of electricity ~~amount~~ of these six countries is less than half of the total electricity of the three leading countries. Meanwhile, Korea has the lowest values ~~electricity~~, less than 500 billion Kwh, and only one-tenth of China. (So you claim that 500 is less than 5?)

Here are some interesting comparisons:

The ratio of the amounts of electricity produced in China (the highest producer) to lowest (Republic of Korea) was more than 11:1.
The US produced about 75% of the amount of electricity that China did. Whereas China used nearly all that it produced, the US consumed about 95% of its production.
There was a large gap between the second and third ranking countries. Russia, in third place, produced 25% of that of the US, and slightly less than 20% of that of China. Like China, it used almost all of the electricity that it generated.
France, Brazil and Germany (ranking 7, 8 and 9) had very similar production values, ranging from 526 to 561 billion kWh. This was a little more than one tenth that of China.
Germany was unique in that it consumed 55 billion KWh more than it produced. It was a net importer of electricity.
India consumed only 80% of what it generated. That was the lowest percentage of all the countries listed.

Writing Task 1 - Please give me some advice on my writing

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions