WRITING TASK 1 - NUMBER 1

Here is my latest writing task 1. I hope you can correct it soon. Thanks in advance

The two charts illustrate what graduates and postgraduates in the UK chose to do after finishing their studies in college in 2008 (excluding full-time work). Overall, although the number of graduates was much more than that of postgraduates, their choices were quite similar in each case, and most of students in both groups chose to study further.

Looking at the first graph, about 30.000 UK graduates decided to continue their studies after leaving college, making up the largest proportion of four destinations in 2008 . Meanwhile, in the same year, there were around 18.000 UK graduate students working part-time after graduating, followed by approximately 16.000 students being unemployed. The number of students who chose to work voluntarily was only 3.500 in 2008.

In the second graph, further study attracted around 2.700 postgraduates in the UK in 2008. The figure for part-time work was a little lower (2.500). While about 1.600 UK postgraduate students were jobless after college, the number of those whose decided to work as volunteers was only 345.