Writing Task 1: energy is used in an average Australia household

Question

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of five different patterns of using energy and its greenhouse gas emissions in an average household in Australia.

It is clear from the charts that the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from most of the methods are significantly more than the energy they use, except for heating in an average household. Also, Heating is by far the most important means of using energy.

Heating accounts for the largest proportion of energy used in an average household at 42%, but contribute just 15% to total greenhouse emission. By contrast, while Australians consume only 4% of energy for lights, 7% for refrigeration and 15% for other appliances, proportions gas emissions released by these patterns are twice the percentages of energy used, at 8%, 14% and 28% respectively.

On the other hand, cooling is the method that uses the least amount of energy, only 2% of energy is used, and its gas emission constitutes only 3% in total. Besides, over a quarter of energy is used for heating water in an average home, there is only a small increase in the proportion of greenhouse gas emissions by 2% compared to the proportion of energy used.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The (How many? Read my advice.) pie charts illustrate (poor word choice. Read my advice.) the proportion of five different patterns (Incorrect word - these are not "patterns". What are they? Name them. Read my advice. ) of using energy and its greenhouse gas emissions in an average household in Australia. (You need two sentences - one for each figure.)

~~It is clear from the charts that~~ (Delete these unnecessary words. They add nothing to the essay. Read my advice.) the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from most of the methods (Incorrect word) are significantly more (You cannot compare emissions to energy - they are two entirely different things. ) than the energy they use, except for heating in an average household. Also, Heating ("heating" is not a proper noun. Do not capitalize it.) is by far the most important means (wrong word) of using energy.

Heating accounts for the largest proportion of energy used in an average household at 42%, but contribute (wrong form) just 15% to total greenhouse emission. By contrast, while Australian homes consume only 4% of energy for lights, 7% for refrigeration and 15% for other appliances, proportions (ungrammatical) gas emissions released by these patterns (wrong word) are twice the percentages of energy used, at 8%, 14% and 28% respectively.

~~On the other hand,~~ (Delete. Not a proper transition phrase. Task 1 is reporting data, not arguing one side and the other side.) cooling is the method that uses the least amount of energy, only 2% of energy is used, and its gas emission constitutes only 3% in total. Besides, over a quarter of the energy is used for heating water ~~in an average hom~~e, (comma splice error) there is only a small increase in the proportion of greenhouse gas emissions by 2% compared to the proportion of energy used.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

The two pie charts compare first, the energy consumption and second, greenhouse gas emissions of six different types of appliances in a typical Australian household. These are heating, water heating, cooling, lighting, refrigeration and “other appliances”.

Overall, two types, heating and water heating, consume nearly three-quarters of the total energy, and they also account for half of the total emissions. Cooling uses the smallest amount of energy, and also gives off the fewest emissions.

Even though it is the largest single user of energy, heating emits proportionately much lower levels of greenhouse gasses than the others. Its emissions are 15% of the total whereas it consumes 42% of the energy, about a 1:3 ratio. The worst are refrigeration and lighting. They are responsible for 14% and 8% of emissions compared to just 7% and 4% of the energy usage, a 2:1 ratio. The "other appliances" group is marginally better, with 15% of the energy usage and 28% of the greenhouse gas emissions. Water heating, which is second after heating in usage at 30%, is responsible for 32% of the emissions, approximately a 1:1 ratio.

Writing Task 1: energy is used in an average Australia household

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