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Xarong Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Writing Task 1

Please help me correct my task 1. Thank you in advance

Topic:

The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 - 2010

The bar chart compares the percentage of obese male and female in Australia during the period 1980 – 2010.

Overall, the there was an upward trend in the percentage of overweight Australian, with the figure for male being higher than female over the period in question.

In 1980, the percentages of overweight individuals stayed below 50%, with 45% of male being obese, compared to 30% of obese female. However, since 1990, around half of male was recorded to be obese, which was 10% higher than female. In the next 10 years, the percentage of overweight male increased by 40%, reaching 70% in 2000 before slightly dropping to under 70% in 2010. Meanwhile, the figure for female in the last two decades maintained the same level of 50%, which was 10% higher compared to the 1990’s figure. After 30 years, the growth of obese male and female was quite the same, with an addition of around 20% of each gender getting obese.

  

Top answer

The bar chart compares the percentage of obese [ 1] mal e s and [ 1] femal e s in Australia during the period 1980 – 2010. Overall, [ 2] the there was an upward trend in the percentage of overweight [ 1] Australia n s , with the figur e s for [ 1] mal e s being higher than [ 3] those for femal e s [ 1] over the period in question. In 1980, the percentages of overweight individuals stayed was below 50%, with 45% of [ 1] male s being obese, compared to 30% of [ 4] obese femal e s [ 1] .

  • The bar chart compares the percentage of obese [ 1] mal e s and [ 1] femal e s in Australia during the period 1980 – 2010.
  • Overall, [ 2] the there was an upward trend in the percentage of overweight [ 1] Australia n s , with the figur e s for [ 1] mal e s being higher than [ 3] those for femal e s [ 1] over the period in question.
  • In 1980, the percentages of overweight individuals stayed was below 50%, with 45% of [ 1] male s being obese, compared to 30% of [ 4] obese femal e s [ 1] .
  • However, [ 5] since 1990, ten years later, around half of all mal e s [ 1] was recorded to be obese, which was 10% higher than the figure for femal e s [ 1] .
  • In the next 10 years, the percentage of overweight mal e s [ 1] increased [ 6] by 40%, reaching continued rising and reached 70% in 200 0, before slightly dropping to under 70% in 2010.
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1 Answers
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The bar chart compares the percentage of obese [ 1] males and [ 1] females in Australia during the period 1980 – 2010.

Overall, [ 2] the there was an upward trend in the percenta

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