Writing task 1

Question

Thanks in advance for any commentsAnd I’m willing to help you tooPaste the link of your post if you need commentsThe chart shows the variation in the number of students choosing their second language subject in four cited years.Looking as a whole, French not only remained the  most preferred language among 250 selected students, but also saw the largest difference of figure between last year and ten years ago. Additionally, the downward feature  was seen in Italian language.It is clear that students mostly chose French for learning as a different language. Ten years ago, it was studied by 80 pupils, after which it saw some slight fluctuations, ultimately ending at 140, which was over half of total students. The contrary trend happened in Italian, with its figure in last year being three times lower than that in 10 years ago. As for Spanish, five years ago, it recorded a double rise, followed by a stability, finishing at the same level of students learning as the beginning, at 20. Also, German experienced some marginal fluctuations, reducing by 10 students compared to that of the first year.It is also interesting to note that, two years ago, almost all showed a decrease in the number of students learning except for Italian, which actually peaked in that year.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. It will give advice on your vocabulary errors.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You should have three paragraphs:

Paragraph 1: Describe the task.

Paragraph 2: Pick out two or three points that are the most important observations in the data.

Paragraph 3: Describe some details and make comparisons.

Do not write a conclusion paragraph. That is for Task 2.

The chart (What kind of chart? Know the names of the different types of charts.. This is a bar chart. In more detail, it is a stacked bar chart. ) shows the variation in the number of students choosing their second language subject in four cited years.

That is not good English. It is not accurate because it implies that the bar chart plots the number of students who chose a second language compared to those who did not choose any second language.

You completely missed that these students had four choices of a second language. Also, you missed that there was a time sequence of different intervals over a period of ten years.

Here is an example opening paragraph:

The stacked bar chart gives the number of students that selected one of four different second languages to study a decade ago, five years ago, two years ago, and last year. The choices of languages were Italian, Spanish, German and French.

Given this description, the reader knows what the bar chart looks like if they cannot see it. The best Task 1 essays describe the diagram so that the reader does not have to look at it.

Looking as a whole, French not only remained the most preferred language among 250 selected students, but also saw the largest difference of figure between last year and ten years ago. Additionally, the downward feature was seen in Italian language.
It is clear that students mostly chose French for learning as a different language. Ten years ago, it was studied by 80 pupils, after which it saw some slight fluctuations, ultimately ending at 140, which was over half of total students. The contrary trend happened in Italian, with its figure in last year being three times lower than that in 10 years ago.

~~It is clear that~~ (Those words are unnecessary. Read my advice about such clauses.) students mostly chose to learn French ~~for learning~~ as a second ~~different~~ language. Ten years ago, it was studied by 80 pupils, (wrong word. Pupil is a student in primary school. These young children do not pick a language to study.) after which it saw some slight fluctuations, (wrong word. Read my advice.) ultimately ending at 140, which was over half of all the ~~total~~ students. The contrary trend happened in Italian, with its figure in last year being three times lower than that in 10 years ago.

As for Spanish, five years ago, it recorded a double rise, (That does not make sense) followed by a stability, finishing at the same level of students learning as the beginning, at 20. Also, German experienced some marginal fluctuations, (wrong word.) reducing by 10 students compared to that of the first year.

~~It is also interesting to note that, two years ago, almost all showed a decrease in the number of students learning except for Italian, which actually peaked in that year~~. (IF this is a main observation, put it in paragraph #2. You will lose points for coherence and cohesion if you do not do this. Do not write a conclusion. )

Writing task 1

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