Writing task 1

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WRITE DESCRIPTION HEREPlease help me to check my essay and could you give me another way to describe the front bar chart? Thanks so much!Here is my essay for this task:The bar graph compares the figure of students who chose to study eight different university subjects in 2005.It is clear that there are some general differences between men’s and women’s choice of subjects. However, just as many men as women chose to study humanities.Non-science subjects were more popular with female students. The most common subjects for female students were less technical subjects such as social sciences, languages, literature and humanities. Social sciences was by far the most general subject for women, with nearly 25 thousand people. However, very few female students chose to study mathematics and law, respectively 4 and 6 thousand students.Sciences and Maths were the most popular choices for male students, with around 20 thousand people for each subject, about twice- three times as many as female students. Almost no men- only 2 thousand- chose to learn languguages, nearly one-fifth of women. Very few men chose the arts. In fact, just under a thousand students chose it, approximately a twentieth part of female students.

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

I have moved your essay to the Essays forum. In the future, please post your writing tasks here.

Thanks.

CJ

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The bar graph compares the figure (wrong word) of students who chose to study eight different university subjects in 2005. (Incomplete - what were the subjects on the bar graph?)

~~It is clear that~~ (Clear, obvious, apparent, evident and noticeable are opinion words. Do not write opinions in Task 1. Those words do not describe the information.) there are some general differences between men’s and women’s choice of subjects. (That statement has no interesting content at all. The reader would be very surprised if they were all the same! You must write two or three most important or interesting points about the information in this paragraph.) However, just as many men as women chose to study humanities.

Non-science subjects were more popular with female students. The most common subjects for female students were less technical subjects such as social sciences, languages, literature and humanities. Social sciences was by far the most chosen ~~general~~ subject for women, with nearly 25 thousand people. However, very few female students chose to study mathematics and law, respectively 4 and 6 thousand students.

Sciences and Maths were the most popular choices for male students, with around 20 thousand people for each subject, about ~~twice~~- two to three times as many as female students. ~~Almost no men-~~ Only 2 thousand men chose to learn languguages, nearly one-fifth of women. Very few men chose the arts. In fact, just under a thousand students chose it, approximately a twentieth (wrong calculation. One twentieth of twenty thousand is one thousand. The number of females in this category is about 9,000, not even close to 20,000. ) part of female students.

Ezdan 28 · Answer

Please check this essay referring to the same bar graph:

The bar graph compares the number of male and female students who enrolled in various university subjects, namely, Sciences, Mathematics, Social Sciences, Languages, Humanities, Arts, Literature and Law, in the year 2005.

Overall, the subjects chosen vary according to gender. Women preferred subjects not related to science, while men chose otherwise. On the other hand, both sexes had the same number in humanities.

In 2005, the most number of female students studied social sciences, at 24000, which was 10000 more than males. About 18000 women enrolled in languages, while only a fraction of this number are men, at 1000. Similarly, around 12000 students chose arts – 9000 of whom are women and a third of the total are men.

In contrast, the number of male students who opted sciences and law are twice the opposite gender, at 21000 and 11,000 respectively. Meanwhile, there were 23000 men who selected mathematics, while a sixth of this are women.

In comparison, there were 24000 students in humanities, with both genders having equal proportion, at 12,000 each.

Writing task 1

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