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English 1b3 Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Writing Style
I would really appreciate it if an expert read my email to family and made any changes to improve it - be it changes to the style, to the way the sentences are written etc. Please be a harsh critic.
With all the spare time I have nowadays, I am becoming something of a bookworm and gardener. Yesterday, while Claire was at Uni, I read for about 3 hours in the sun (which incidentally still packed some heat despite the fact we are now well into Fall) on a roadside bench in Roadside Village, the local shops at the end of our street. Afterwards, I water-blasted the patio area below the deck in the backyard - Christie sent you a photo of my attire - no comment... I have also mowed the front and back lawns a few times. And what I spent a good part of last week doing was dumping wheelbarrows full of soil into the garden. I now appreciate a nice garden and have a newly found respect for you, Oma, and totally understand, why you, mum, don't miss having a garden.
I have just sent an email to Ian, the Art Director of Coert and good friend of Christie and Craig's, asking him when a good time to take a tour of the the campus would be. I read on their website a 4 month contract as a marketing coordinator is available. I will ask him about it, but since I am away all December, I don't know if it will work.
Attached are some photos I took today of Roadside Village. It's really pretty, and clean, about the same size as Saint Heliers Village. The majestic north shore mountain range is visible over the tops of the shop buildings, and the leaves on the roadside trees are turning red and orange. All the lampposts are painted red and there are lots of big pedestrian crossings but no traffic lights. The people in the neighbourhood are all very friendly, many of them elderly or mothers.
It has a Super Valu, which is like a small supermarket, a large fruit and vege store, a gas station, a number of hair salons, banks, coffee shops, a Bakers Delight (called something else here), a Subway and more.
My previous day was not too dissimilar to yesterday's. I read my book and people watched in the sun, this time at a beach. I took advantage of Vancouver's award winning public transit system, busing from Roadside Village, over Lions Bridge, to Leafy Bay - a beach situated just west of downtown in a wealthy area with tall apartment buildings and fancy restaurants, some boasting brilliant views of the harbour often dotted with cargo ships and various other boats. There are some photos attached of this beach, too.
I'm getting on really well with Craig, cracking jokes over dinner in the kitchen, discussing trivial matters in detail, and watching his favourite tv shows with him when he gets home from work. Christie and I get on well too, but she does like time to herself, so I'm trying to give her some space by going to the village or beach etc. She still spoils me rotten, often coming home from the shops with foods I ate back home, like kiwifruit. She's very thoughtful, trying to make my stay as pleasant possible.
With all the spare time I have nowadays, I am becoming something of a bookworm and gardener. Yesterday, while Claire was at Uni, I read for about 3 hours in the sun (which incidentally still packed some heat despite the fact we are now well into Fall) on a roadside bench in Roadside Village, the local shops at the end of our street. Afterwards, I water-blasted the patio area below the deck in the backyard - Christie sent you a photo of my attire - no comment... I have also mowed the front and back lawns a few times. And what I spent a good part of last week doing was dumping wheelbarrows full of soil into the garden. I now appreciate a nice garden and have a newly found respect for you, Oma, and totally understand, why you, mum, don't miss having a garden.
I have just sent an email to Ian, the Art Director of Coert and good friend of Christie and Craig's, asking him when a good time to take a tour of the the campus would be. I read on their website a 4 month contract as a marketing coordinator is available. I will ask him about it, but since I am away all December, I don't know if it will work.
Attached are some photos I took today of Roadside Village. It's really pretty, and clean, about the same size as Saint Heliers Village. The majestic north shore mountain range is visible over the tops of the shop buildings, and the leaves on the roadside trees are turning red and orange. All the lampposts are painted red and there are lots of big pedestrian crossings but no traffic lights. The people in the neighbourhood are all very friendly, many of them elderly or mothers.
It has a Super Valu, which is like a small supermarket, a large fruit and vege store, a gas station, a number of hair salons, banks, coffee shops, a Bakers Delight (called something else here), a Subway and more.
My previous day was not too dissimilar to yesterday's. I read my book and people watched in the sun, this time at a beach. I took advantage of Vancouver's award winning public transit system, busing from Roadside Village, over Lions Bridge, to Leafy Bay - a beach situated just west of downtown in a wealthy area with tall apartment buildings and fancy restaurants, some boasting brilliant views of the harbour often dotted with cargo ships and various other boats. There are some photos attached of this beach, too.
I'm getting on really well with Craig, cracking jokes over dinner in the kitchen, discussing trivial matters in detail, and watching his favourite tv shows with him when he gets home from work. Christie and I get on well too, but she does like time to herself, so I'm trying to give her some space by going to the village or beach etc. She still spoils me rotten, often coming home from the shops with foods I ate back home, like kiwifruit. She's very thoughtful, trying to make my stay as pleasant possible.
Top answer
I expect that your family would like to read your letters in your own style.
- I expect that your family would like to read your letters in your own style.
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4 Answers
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I expect that your family would like to read your letters in your own style.
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You can expect all you like, but I have already sent the letter to my family. This was to see whether or not I did a good job and what I need to work on.
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This is the impression I got from reading your letter. Frankly, the tone and the formality sounded more like a composition than a letter to your family. The narrative style is a bit stiff and long-winded, and at spots the unnecessary details felt a bit "overdone". Having said that, over all, you followed the basic rules and did a pretty good job in my opinion.
I didn't have time to go thr
I didn't have time to go thr
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English 1b3You can expect all you like,Then you may wait all you like.
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