Writing Practice 2 - TOEFL IBT - positive role model

Hello again,

may I ask you to comment on this? I am practicing for the TOEFL IBT. I am looking forward for your feedback! Thank you!

Cracking the TOEFL - Page 131

Describe an influential person, and explain why you feel this person is a positive role model.

I feel that my elder cousin Zay is a positive role model. I believe this because Zay's personality is fascinating and at the same time dignifing, as he grew up in the most difficult circumstances people could imagine.

One reason why he is a positive role model is his attitude towards life. Everything what he has accomplished in his life career so far is attributed to the quote “To have nothing at all to loose”. He started from the very bottom and struggled himself through more downs than ups, in respect of financially and socially poor situations. Nevertheless he successefully graduated from University of Zoo and is working on his Masters in Zooland at the moment. An educational evidence for effort and diligence despite of financial and social problems in his living environment.

Another reason is that due to his poor circumstances he was taught from the beginning on to value the act of sharing with fellow men. He sustains this value until today. What he shares goes beyond material goods. It is more the emotional and social good he is spreading towards his family and friends. He is very open-minded and helpful whenever he can. Zay works for example for several educational institutions on voluntarily basis. He attempts to be there for his family as well by just saying hello and giving us life advices anytime he can.

To conclude, the reasons show that Zay is a wonderful person who actually deserve much more for his kindness. I am going to thank him here in this letter for being my positive role model. Since he made me pass the Abitur as well as other personal things I don't want to mention here. Thank you!