Writing Part 1 IELTS - Line graph, Unemployment Rates

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The line graph shows the percentage of jobless people in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.
Overall, despite their different starting points, by the end of the period, these two countries shared the approximately same unemployment rate. However, while there was a downward trend in the US throughout the period, the number of unemployed people in Japan's workforce had an upward tendency.
In March 1993, there were 7 in 100 American people being out of work compared to just 2.5 people of Japan. Three years from there, the percentage of people having no jobs in Japan's workforce increased almost twofold, while the US's decreased by about 21%.
Between 1996 and 1999, the US showed subtle changes in its unemployment rate. On the other hand, Japan reached its peak in the first half of 1998 and continued to increase rapidly until 1999. At this point, the figure went up by 200% since March 1993 and stood at around 5%, equaled to the US's.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line graph shows the unemployment rates ~~percentage of jobless people~~ (wrong expression) in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.

The title of the graph gives the statistic that is shown: the unemployment rate. These economic statistics have precise definitions and you should not use synonyms or other phrases because they do not have a definition.

Overall, despite their different starting points, by the end of the period, these two countries had ~~shared~~ ~~the~~ approximately the same unemployment rate. However, while there was a downward trend in the US throughout the period, the ~~number of unemployed people in~~ Japan's rate ~~workforce~~ had an upward trend ~~tendency~~.

In March 1993, there were 7 in 100 American people ~~being~~ out of work (That is incorrect. Children, retired people and full-time students are American people but they are not counted in this statistic. The Y-axis indicates this definition. ) compared to just 2.5 in ~~people of~~ Japan. Three years later ~~from there~~, the percentage of people having no jobs in Japan's workforce increased almost twofold, while the US's decreased by about 21%.
Between 1996 and 1999, there were small ~~US showed subtle~~ changes in the US ~~its~~ unemployment rate. On the other hand, Japan reached a ~~its~~ peak in the first half of 1998 and continued to increase rapidly (incorrect description. A peak is the highest value. The curve cannot increase after a peak; it can only go down, decline, drop or decrease. It can also plateau, which means it does not go down, but remains at that peak value.) until 1999. At this point, ~~the figure went~~ ("Figure" is not a good word to use. "Value" is good.) had gone up by ~~200%~~ 100% (100% of 2.5% is 2.5%. It went up by 2.5% or 100%. Two hundred percent of 2.5% is 5%. If it had gone up by 5%, the final value would have been 7.5%) since March 1993 and stood at around 5%, equaled to the US's.

Sample essay (~180 words)

The line graph shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.

Overall, from 1993 to 1998, the two rates were negatively correlated, that of the US decreasing and Japan increasing. However, after 1998, both of the curves had flattened out and remained within a tight range at approximately the same value.

In detail, the unemployment rate in the US started at 7%, compared to 2.5% in Japan. This gap of 4.5 percentage points rapidly narrowed and it was reduced to just 2.5% a year later, 6% in the US and a little over 3.5% in Japan. In 1996, the difference was about 1%, 5.5% in the US and just under 4.5% in Japan. In March 1998 the two were virtually the same; Japan's unemployment reaching a peak of about 5.2%. From that point until March 1999, Japan's rate sagged slightly to 5%, matching that of the US. Over the entire time span, the US unemployment rate had decreased by 2% or 28%, in contrast to Japan, where it had doubled from 2.5% to 5%.

Writing Part 1 IELTS - Line graph, Unemployment Rates

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