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An Echo Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Writing issues

Hey, can anyone correct this review I've made about the ugly side of social media>>. I'll be grateful, and thanks in advance.
''Social media is a dangerous trap, unfortunately, not many are aware of. Once you step in, there no ever going back. It will take over your life, your energy, your vitality, and many other pressure things, and it gives you nothing in return but depression. I hope that all people learn to face their problems and their realities rather than escaping to the virtual world. May god give all of us the strength and the power to believe in our selves.''
  

Top answer

The concluding statement isn't really related to the rest of the paragraph. We capitalize "***," by the way. ' unfortunately,social media is a dangerous trap not many are aware of.

  • The concluding statement isn't really related to the rest of the paragraph.
  • We capitalize "***," by the way.
  • ' unfortunately,social media is a dangerous trap not many are aware of.
  • Once you step in, there's no going back.
  • It will take over your life, your energy, your vitality, (You are saying that social media takes over many things and you include the following in that.
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2 Answers
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The concluding statement isn't really related to the rest of the paragraph. We capitalize "***," by the way.

' unfortunately,social media is a dangerous trap not many are aware of. Once you step in, there's no going back. It will take over your life, your energy, your vitality, (You are saying that social media takes over many things and you include the following in that. It doesn't make
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Wooow! I am impressed, that's more then I expected. But honestly It's funny to read back what I wrote, just like you said it's doesn't make any sense. Next time, I will try to be more objective, and I'll pay more attention to the paragraph's structure,,,
I'm truly grateful for giving me some of your time, and for all your hard efforts. Thank you so much.

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