Writing IELTS TASK 2

Question

One of the aims of the Olympic game is to improve relationships among countries. Do you agree or disagree?These days, more and more people believe that international sports events may help relationships among countries closer. In my view, I completely agree with this trend.On the one hand, there are some reasons why people do not think the Olympic game may connect countries. First, there are many other ways to improve country relationships. For example, wealthy countries may help low-income countries, such as giving away covid 19 vaccines. Second, it is a high-risk investment with the host nation. That is because they may spend a high sum of national funding building sports facilities, and facing a fell in the economy, such as the Olympic game Tokyo 2020.On the other hand, there are several reasons why countries relationships around the world may be improved by international sports events. First of all, countries may show their friendly and kindness by athletes. For instance, during the Olympic game Tokyo 2020, we could see players from both America and Russia gave respect to each other. Second, it is a rare time to gather many leaders around the world in one country. As a result, they may communicate or plan to resolve country issues together.In conclusion, although organizing an Olympic game may giving a negative effect on the economy and is not the only way to improve nation relationships, I strongly agree that international sports events play an important role in getting close many countries together.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

yuuy83One of the aims of the Olympic Games is ...

1- You did not write enough words. You need a minimum of 250 for task 2.

2- The question was specifically about the Olympics (not about international sports events in general).

3- You say that you "completely agree" with the given statement, but you wrote one paragraph for and one against! That doesn't make sense. You can either change your position to, for example, "I partially agree", or change your second body paragraph. In any case, your second body paragraph has a lot of irrelevant stuff. You need to remain focused on the given topic and not stray outside that scope.

Revise your essay, and repost it below if you wish. You might also want to take a look at my replies in the following thread to learn about essay structure.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post. Click on this link:

Next, tap on the green button "write a new post"

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote less than 250 words. This will lower your score. Be sure to write 250 words or more for Task 2.

These days, more and more people believe that international sports events may help improve relationships among countries ~~closer~~. In my view, I completely agree with this ~~trend~~. (wrong word. It is not a trend. A trend is something that gest higher or lower over time. Besides, it is not the topic. The question asks you to write about this question:

Is closer relationships the objective, goal or aim of the Olympic Games officials?)

You will not get a good score on this essay, because you did not understand the topic. Read the topic very carefully. Do not assume that it is the same as other similar essays.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why people do not think the Olympic game may connect countries. (That is off-topic. Read the topic sentence very carefully. It is not about people's opinions. And it is not about ways to improve relationships.) First, there are many other ways to improve country relationships. For example, wealthy countries may help low-income countries, such as giving away covid 19 vaccines. Second, it is a high-risk investment with the host nation. That is because they may spend a high sum of national funding building sports facilities, and facing a fell (Fell is the past tense of the verb fall.) in the economy, such as the Olympic game Tokyo 2020.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why countries relationships around the world may be improved by international sports events. (Off topic. It is not asking about other ways to improve relationships. ) First of all, countries may show their friendly and kindness by athletes. For instance, during the Olympic game (wrong form) Tokyo 2020, we could see players from both America and Russia gave (wrong form) respect to each other. Second, it is a rare time to gather many leaders around the world in one country. As a result, they may communicate or plan to resolve country issues together.

In conclusion, although organizing an Olympic game (wrong form) may giving (wrong form) a negative effect on the economy and is not the only way to improve nation relationships, I strongly agree that international sports events play an important role in getting ~~close~~ many countries together.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

yuuy83One of the aims of the Olympic Games is to improve relationships among countries. Do you agree or disagree?

The essay topic has an error. Please copy the instructions accurately and completely.

Writing IELTS TASK 2

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