Writing Ielts task 2

Question

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?These days, upward climate change represents a major threat to the entire world as its harsh impacts on human life. Many opine that people had better embrace and no longer comes up against his phenomenon. Personally, I totally disagree with the statement above as I believe that there are a number of useful methods are once carried out could lessen changes in climate.Initially, with an intent to mitigate climate change, the government should strictly regulate people’s environmentally-destructed activities. Global warming which originates from exhaust fumes, deforestation, and people’s cognition is one of the most serious causes that provoke unexpected changes in the weather. Governments are expected to impose some fines on people who break the rules and contaminate the environment. Hence, the authorities’ supervision enables people to reduce the number of emissions on a daily basis which leads to the improvement in the climate change. The UK, for instance, rarely cope with the natural disaster as they possess many rational policies which significantly control the fluctuations of weather.Furthermore, instead of accepting to suffer from climate variation, people rather formulate a new plan to reduce this situation. Without a doubt, under the strong development in technology aspects, people are supported to expose to the understandings which relates to the climate change and the environment in general. Additionally, in order to effectively gain knowledge, people, especially, youngster are required to join many forums, volunteer works and give the environment a hand to alleviate climate change. In fact, the countries which have high people intellectuality rarely undergo the severe influence of this phenomenon.In conclusion, tackling this severe issue required getting high notice of people from the entire world. As an alternative to live with climate change, paying attention to find a solution for the mentioned matter will definitely bring better outcomes.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Also, we have given you a lot of feedback on your previous essays. You never acknowledged this. Teachers are disheartened by students who do not indicate that they have learned anything.

Instead of writing more bad English, correct the mistakes in an essay you have already written. Fix your mistakes and post the revised version. You will learn faster that way.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

I did not understand most of your essay. You use expressions that are not good, native English. You use vocabulary words incorrectly.

These days, ~~upward~~ (wrong word. ) climate change represents a major threat to the entire world as it will have negative impacts on communities. ~~its harsh impacts on human life~~. (Ungrammatical) Many ~~opine~~ (I never use this very old and formal word. ) have the opinion that people had better embrace and no longer comes up (ungrammatical, wrong verb form. It does not express what you want.) against his phenomenon. (wrong word. ) Personally, I totally disagree with the statement above as I believe that there are a number of useful methods ~~are~~ (wrong word) that, once carried out, could lessen changes in climate. (unclear.)

Initially, with an intent to mitigate climate change, the government should strictly regulate people’s environmentally-destructed (wrong expression. ) activities. Global warming (comma) which originates from exhaust fumes, deforestation, and people’s cognition (I do not understand. How does the human ability to think affect the climate?) (comma) is one of the most serious causes that provoke (wrong word. ) unexpected changes in the weather. Governments are expected to impose some fines on people who break the rules (What rules are you talking about?) and contaminate the environment. Hence, the authorities’ supervision enables people to reduce the number of emissions (emission is non-count. You can reduce the number of vehicles which emit fumes.) on a daily basis which leads to the improvement (wrong word. ) in ~~the~~ climate change. The UK, for instance, rarely needs to cope with ~~the~~ natural disasters as they possess many rational policies which ~~significantly~~ control the fluctuations of weather. (That is not true. No one can control the weather. The UK experiences heat waves, cold spells, droughts, flash floods and hurricanes. )

Furthermore, instead of accepting to suffer from climate variation, (wrong word. ) people rather formulate a new plan to reduce this situation. Without a doubt, under the strong development in technology aspects, (wrong expression. This is completely unnatural. ) people are supported (wrong word. ) to expose to the understandings (wrong word. I have no idea what you are trying to say. ) which relates to the climate change and the environment in general. Additionally, in order to effectively gain knowledge, people, especially, youngster (wrong word. A youngster is a child younger than a teenager. It is an informal word, which is not appropriate for academic essays.) are required to join many forums, volunteer works (wrong form. )and give the environment a hand to alleviate climate change. In fact, the countries which have high people intellectuality (wrong phrase - do you mean educated people or smart people?. )rarely undergo the severe influence of this phenomenon. (wrong word. )

In conclusion, tackling this severe issue required (wrong verb form. ) getting high notice of people (I do not understand this.) from the entire world. As an alternative to live with climate change, paying attention to find a solution for the mentioned (wrong word. ) matter (wrong word. ) will definitely bring better outcomes.

Writing Ielts task 2

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