Writing ielts task 2

mark my writing ielts task 2, please

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To a certain extent, I agree that a job is choosing and kept by citizens who feel satisfied with the early decision. I, however, believe that changing jobs often is a good opportunity for employers these days.

On the one hand, I support that choosing an early job and keeping doing it for a long time can maintain a long-lasting career in employers’ life. For example, after being informed and experiencing, they become well-informed skilled workers enough to maintain their job seeing that workers have tended to have a prolonged job, they would research seriously and have enough experience. Besides, people would feel easier to specify an aim to fulfill, have money to pay for housing, food, education, and stuffs, working a long period helps employers to promote and increase the salary.

On the other hand, I still believe that there are some benefits to having a temporary job nowadays. Firstly, workers will equip with many skills should they work in many fields in their life. Each of the different jobs has a typical necessity, helping to enhance the varieties of skills. Besides, employers feel interested in changing jobs owing to meeting a lot of new friends and spaces I think.

In conclusion, while changing jobs to be more skilled and interested is trendy nowadays, I don’t believe that changing jobs outweigh keeping a job