Writing ielts task 2

pls correct and give me some feedback!!!

Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions?

Education has always become an urgent concern in all nations; however, there is an increasing number of graduates who have an aversion to studying. In this essay, I will explain the reasons leading to this issue and give proper solutions to tackle the mentioned problem.

Initially, there are numerous factors that lessen the fervor in education. First, the school’s curriculums are often too demanding. Apart from attending many lectures, students are required to complete additional assignments and extracurricular projects, which will cause the lassitude and tediousness. Gradually, they will become extremely stressed and form the resistance to studying. Secondly, it is the fact that many schools nowadays are forcing students to learn several unnecessary and impractical subjects, which will not benefit for their future career. For example, a future doctor have to memorize the history of arts and music, consequently, it will cause a considerable waste of time and energy. All these factors will ostensibly raise a deep antipathy towards learning in students.

Fortunately, there are some measures to minimize this problem. The first solution is that schools have to update the teaching methods to make the lesson more attractive and thought-provoking, maybe by inserting visual aids such as video clips or short films into the lectures. Therefore, students will probably pay more attention in class without being drowsy and studying will become an interest rather than an obligation. In addition, lessons which are not necessary should be dispensed and replaced by practical skills related to their chosen profession. This solution can help every student to be experts in their fields, thus the inspiration and concentration on learning will increase dramatically.

In the conclusion, a negative attitude towards learning is understandable because of two mentioned reasons; however, effective measures can be taken to solve the problem.