Writing ielts!!! help me please? which band is my essay are?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People have different views about the means of making the safety for people who take part in the traffic. While strict punishments can sometimes be useful, I believe that many other measures are more effective.

On the one hand, there are many severe penalties for making citizens driving carefully. Offenders can lose a large amount of money that value by from 10%-20% out of their monthly salaries, so they would have a serious attitude driving car because the big fine can affect their living expenses. The daily routine will be disturbed if the own vehicle is confiscated by polices or your driving license is banned around six months to a year. The strictest punishment is sometimes to arrest in prison when you commit traffic crimes. For example, in the Vietnamese regulation, the driver causing a deadly accident can be confined to 3 years to 6 years.

On the other hand, other measures can help residents follow the traffic rule effectively. The government should consider more concern on investing in road construction. For example, many streets are designed to have speed bumps and cameras with the aim of slowing traffic down, and the traffic signs have been built to instruct vehicle owners. Television campaigns are used commonly to remind people to drive safely. Moreover, it is more difficult to get a driving license than before we were used to be; we have to pass the multi-choice questions of test about traffic laws and the practical exam about driving a car on the slope, corner roads.

In conclusion, traffic accidents can reduce if strict punishments are applied for driving offenses, but it seems to me that other measures can improve better the security for drivers.