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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Writing a CV intro

Hello, maybe someone could proofread mine CV intro and help me with it ?

It would be:

I have been fascinated with computers from early childhood, my passion my whole life was understanding principles of operation behind any stuff (is it a car or a game server). I have started gaining revenue at age of 15 via websites and game servers development, e-commerce, SEO…
I am targeting an Internship or Entry-Level Opportunity in: Software Engineering, Database Systems, IT…
  

Top answer

I highlighted some grammatical issues. I have been fascinated with computers from early childhood , (comma splice) my passion my whole life was understanding principles of operation behind any stuff (very informal, non-descriptive) (is it a car or a game server). I have started gaining revenue at age of 15 via website s and game server s development, e-commerce, SEO (spell out an acronym the first time) … I am targeting an Internship or E ntry -L evel O pportunity in: Software Engineering, Database Systems, IT…

— AlpheccaStars

  • I highlighted some grammatical issues.
  • I have been fascinated with computers from early childhood , (comma splice) my passion my whole life was understanding principles of operation behind any stuff (very informal, non-descriptive) (is it a car or a game server).
  • I have started gaining revenue at age of 15 via website s and game server s development, e-commerce, SEO (spell out an acronym the first time) … I am targeting an Internship or E ntry -L evel O pportunity in: Software Engineering, Database Systems, IT…
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1 Answers
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I highlighted some grammatical issues.

I have been fascinated with computers from early childhood, (comma splice) my passion my whole life was understanding principles of operation behind any stuff (very informal, non-descriptive) (is it a car or a game server). I have s
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