Writing

Hello! Could anyone help me correct my writing, please? I would be very grateful if you can point out grammatical as well as spelling mistakes in my essay. Also, feel free to tell me which part is not good enough or not formal as the task requires. Thanks very much for your help!

Question: In your English class you have been discusssing animals. Now your teacher has asked you to to write an essay. Write an essay, using all the notes below and giving reasons for your point of view. Is it wrong to keep animals in zoos?

1. how the animals are treated
2. learning about the animals
3. ........................................................ (your own idea)

Keeping animals in zoos has been a hot potato in the world for decades. In this essay I would like to explain the two sides of the argument about whether those species should have rights to be released or not.

It can not be denied that being kept in zoos is an effective way for animals to hide from illegal hunters. In addition, they are also provided good healthcare by vets as well as enough food and drinks, which they may hardly find in the wild. A further advantage of zoos that is worth noting is educational function as students can have opportunities to do research on alive creatures from their neighbourhood without any difficulties. To view a wide variety of spectacular species from a small distance definitely helps improve peple's awareness of conservation.

On the other hand, captivity not only limits animals' livelihood which is regarded as a necessary part in their instict but also increases the degree of loneliness. Seperated from their families as well as the natural environment, they may find life in zoos boring and meaningless. Therefore, this condition could have a negative influence on their mental health. For instance, in the wild, animals are much more playful because of many activities to enjoy everyday includung fighting and searching for food. Unfortunately, those things do not exist in a buliding looking like prison named 'zoos'.

In conclusion, zoos, from my point of view, are not an ideal home for wildlife to grow up naturally even though the diversity of species can be threated by poachers. It is hoped that there will be a new solution to this issue in the future.