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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Writing
Is this writing incomplete?
A very confused young man James, who just cannot decide who he loves. There are two beautiful girls Jasmin and Jayin in his life and he thinks he is in love with both of them. How he deals with both the girls forms the remaining story.
A very confused young man James, who just cannot decide who he loves. There are two beautiful girls Jasmin and Jayin in his life and he thinks he is in love with both of them. How he deals with both the girls forms the remaining story.
Top answer
Anonymous Is this writing incomplete? Yes. The first sentence is actually just a sentence fragment.
- Anonymous Is this writing incomplete?
- Yes.
- The first sentence is actually just a sentence fragment.
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3 Answers
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AnonymousIs this writing incomplete?Yes. The first sentence is actually just a sentence fragment.
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Ok. How about this:
A very confused young man James, who just cannot decide who he loves, thus he decides to approach a psychiatrist to seek his advice. There are two beautiful girls Jasmin and Jayin in his life and he thinks he is in love with both of them. How he deals with both the girls forms the remaining story.
A very confused young man James, who just cannot decide who he loves, thus he decides to approach a psychiatrist to seek his advice. There are two beautiful girls Jasmin and Jayin in his life and he thinks he is in love with both of them. How he deals with both the girls forms the remaining story.
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You need to understand that writing implies careful revision. You cannot just plunk down words in a row.
James, a very confused young man with two beautiful girls, Jasmin and Jayin, in his life, thinks he is in love with both of them, so he seeks the advice of a psychiatrist. How he deals with the girls constitutes the story.
James, a very confused young man with two beautiful girls, Jasmin and Jayin, in his life, thinks he is in love with both of them, so he seeks the advice of a psychiatrist. How he deals with the girls constitutes the story.
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