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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Writing

Hi, can anyone please correct my writing.

16-year-old Nissa recovers from coma and finds herself the sole survivor of a tragic car crash that has wiped out her entire family. Her guardian, Aunt Leesa, moves Nissa to a boarding school, and soon the teenager finds herself plagued with visions and visitations from restless spirits. She begins to investigate the mystery, only to uncover a horrifying curse and blood thirst connected to an ancient tree that lay in a forest beyond the school grounds.

Thanks,
  

Top answer

16-year-old Nissa recovers from coma and finds herself the sole survivor of a tragic car crash that has wiped out her entire family. Her guardian, Aunt Leesa, moves Nissa to a boarding school, but soon the teenager finds herself plagued with visions and visitations from restless spirits. She begins to investigate the mystery, only to uncover a horrifying curse and blood thirst connected to an ancient tree that lay in a forest beyond the school grounds.

  • 16-year-old Nissa recovers from coma and finds herself the sole survivor of a tragic car crash that has wiped out her entire family.
  • Her guardian, Aunt Leesa, moves Nissa to a boarding school, but soon the teenager finds herself plagued with visions and visitations from restless spirits.
  • She begins to investigate the mystery, only to uncover a horrifying curse and blood thirst connected to an ancient tree that lay in a forest beyond the school grounds.
  • 'But' sounds more natural there, however you'd get away with using 'and'.
  • The rest of it is perfectly written, well done!
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2 Answers
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16-year-old Nissa recovers from coma and finds herself the sole survivor of a tragic car crash that has wiped out her entire family. Her guardian, Aunt Leesa, moves Nissa to a boarding school, but soon the teenager finds herself plagued with visions and visitations from restless spirits. She begins to investigate the mystery, only to uncover a horrifying curse and blood thirst connected to
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Anonymousrecovers from a coma

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