Write a paragraph on the following topic

*Topic: People think that secondary school students should only learn such subjects as literature,
mathematics, and English. Write a paragraph of about 120-150 words to let people know your
point of view. Your paragraph should include at least 3 arguments.

*Answer:

In my opinion, more subjects other than mathematics, literature and English should be included in the school curriculum for the following reasons. First, too few school subjects will lead to the loss of morale to study. Studying only three subjects throughout the school year will make students less enthusiastic to learn. Moreover, all of the three subjects are very difficult. Second, those three subjects do not provide students with enough knowledge. Others subjects are necessary for student as they need the basic knowledge to live in this society and to study higher. What’s more, physical education is a great chance for students too busy to do exercise to stay healthy. Finally, more subjects create more jobs. People with the wish to communicate such knowledge and earn a living at the same time can find themselves a job. In conclusion, subjects apart from math, literature and English should not be omitted and more emphasis should be put on those three mentioned subjects.

Please hep me correct my mistake in my paragraph and could you please give me an example because I myself find my paragraph a little bit not good?

Thank you very much<3